something queer going on

I finally got my MRI yesterday. It was supposed to have been last week, but caught a cold and I was coughing and sneezing way too much to be able to hold still during it, so I rescheduled.

Getting an MRI is deeply unpleasant, 0/10, do not recommend. I don't think of myself as especially claustrophobic, but being put into a narrow tube and told not to move is an efficient way to find out just how claustrophobic you are and how many horror scenarios your brain can conjure up. (I had a death grip on the "Get me the hell out of here!" call button in one hand and the IV line--which I'd been told to hold onto so it didn't get tangled--in the other, and at a couple points I thought very seriously about using the call button even though I could see the end of the tube if I looked up and back.) It doesn't help that communication during an MRI is one-way only: the tech can speak to you but you can't talk back.

Among the things you can't say are "I can't understand anything you're saying to me" and "One of the noise-protective headphones is not properly over my ear and HOLY FUCK IT IS LOUD IN HERE."

When I got out, my left (unprotected) ear was ringing badly, and even now, more than 24 hours later, my hearing is somewhat dulled in that ear and I have new, significant, unwelcome tinnitus. If it hasn't gotten better in a few days I'll have to call my doctor, I guess, and ask for an audiologist's appointment. (It probably doesn't help that it's the same ear that I got a nasty ear infection in ca. 13-14 years ago. The eardrum burst and it was months before my hearing returned to normal-ish. No, I never followed up at the time because I didn't have health insurance.)

When I got out of the MRI I mentioned the headphone problem and the ringing in my ears, and asked if it would go away, and got a "probably" and an indifferent shrug. That was pretty typical of how I was treated throughout--they didn't do much to prepare me (even though they asked if it was my first MRI) or to help me afterwards when I was pretty disoriented after having had my ear blasted for half an hour. I don't know if that utter lack of care was for me specifically (I don't think it was on their information that I'm trans, and I was doing my best to be low-key, but I don't look feminine anymore and I was in there for a specifically uterus-having problem, so it could have been some kind of gendered disgust) or if they're just overworked/jaded/callous. It was certainly very different from how other specialists in the same system have treated me.

So now comes the wait for the results.

Anyway, if you need an MRI I have two pieces of advice: (1) you probably do want the sedation, and (2) make SURE the headphones are placed properly and cover your ears.